7.4.11
I loved devotions today. I really need to be more thankful that God has made me the way I am. Thank you God. I love you.
positives-flexible, spontaneous, passionate, willing to learn, adventurous, adaptable, considerate.
negatives-jealousy, depressive, negative, easily frustrated.
Today work sanding the ceiling was difficult but I know that you helped me the whole way through. I really need to keep Jeanine in my prayers, I was scared when she fell off the ladder, and I pray for her healing. She is really brave and I feel a good connection with her. I like her and Terry's relationship. Of course Sidewalk Evangelism was wonderful. I really love all those beautiful children. Gosh, they are so beautiful Lord! Thank you for creating them. It was great to her Julie telling stories about her and Gary finding God together. I really want to marry Jacob, Lord please lead me the right way Dios!!!
7.5.11
Today was great and interesting. Devotions were good, I didn't expect to think of Brett or to cry. I'm saying a prayer for him now, that you be with him and keep him strong and smart. He needs you. We all do. Work was great today, I adored doing the dental work flouride treatment with the boys. I love them all so much. And digging the holes was great too, thank you for the strength, and thank you for the beauty and pleasure of manual labor. Thank you for the team. I really enjoyed sidewalk sunday school those babies are so beautiful and the scenery was absolutely heavenly!
So let me think about what happened today with the team. I think they are all great, but I really started to break down. I constantly felt overlooked and unappreciated, and cannot take chronic bossiness and demands. Please help me to learn from these difficulties and learn to love harder. I haven't cried that hard in a LONG time. Maybe years. I think I am breaking for you Lord. Please fill my heart with extra love and patience and understanding so I can have peace. I think I need to remember you and your son and your love every time I feel unwanted. You are my one and eternal true love. Thank you Dios. I am having mixed feelings about Jake. I feel that separation is doable and I love him so much. I want to marry him. Terri and Jeanine are so beautiful. I love them so. I can only pray and hope to have a God centered, totally organic, non-artificial love like theirs. I love Jacob Daniel Hanks. I don't even know how to act right now or what to do when I finally get to see him again. Thank you God for all the wonderful people you have put in my life. Please be with my family. Let them all feel you and know that you and I both love them endlessly. Lord please be with Jacob and his team. I miss them and love them. My love is in Africa and I adore him. Gracias Dios.
Love Always, Your daughter,
Stephanie Mauvlyn Braun
