I traveled all the way to Fundong, Cameroon, to an orphanage where i discovered parts of myself, and a deep love for a tiny little mischievous ball of fire, Animbom.
I remember the first time i saw him, he was wearing a sweater, and although his rounded stomach made me sad, i couldn't get over how beautiful and precious he was. In fact he was the first to get a nickname. He was running around so much, but also keeping his distance, sort of feeling us out, that we started calling him "sweater" just so we could talk to each other about how cute he was without saying "which one" while frantically pointing at 65 children who were running around. I assumed he was around 3 years old, due to his small size, and later, about halfway through the trip i found out he was actually around 5 years old. We quickly and easily bonded, he alternated between being shy and uninterested, then full of energy and ready to play any game he imagined up in his creative little mind.
I noticed how he fought with the other kids, and ended up alone a lot, and it sounds crazy, but i knew that we had a certain stubborn independence in common. I found him crying several times, just standing somewhere, or laying down, crying loudly. Each time i stumbled upon this, i felt so horrible and always tried to comfort him. Sometimes he would let me pick him up to cradle and comfort him, or to carry him around to watch the various construction projects we were working on. Other times, he writhed on the dirty ground, screaming, and would not be comforted. I let him do his thing, but deep inside I hurt so much for him.
Throughout the trip I began to see that at times it was like a small civilization of children, and there were constant battles being fought. Sometimes it was a struggle for power, other times it was a game that got too serious, and other times it was just bullying and kids being mean to each other. At one point Animbom was playing with some older kids, hiding between the water tanks, in an attempt to start a game with me. One of the older kids tried to play with him and he started to yell something in his native language. I ignored it at first, but i looked over and i realized by the way he was screaming and the way the older boy was looking at me, that he was calling for me to help him, so I did come tell the boy to leave him alone, scooped him up in my arms and sat with him on my lap on the ground. It was a sweet moment, but I made sure we had our separate time, because I wouldn't be there to defend him much longer. Not that he needed too much defending, he was packed with energy, he totally had it under control.
There are so many memories I have with him that I hope I never forget. Once I had given the kids sunflower seeds, and the shells were scattered all over the ground. I was sitting against a wall, and he laid in my lap. He started eating all the shells, and giggling every time. He watched for my reactions, and eventually he started trying to feed them to me. I gave in eventually. I mean... how many opportunities do I have in life to stare into those beautiful glossy eyes and listen to that amazing melodic laugh? Best laugh in the world yall. HANDS DOWN.
He was a blast. I only wished I could be as fun as he is! There are so many things in life that hold me back... that had no hold on this boy. Once he was done taking a bath and he was walking from the bathing area down the sidewalk to his room to get clothes. When he caught a glimpse of me from afar standing and discussing with some staff, he broke out into a full on hide and seek peekaboo game with me hiding behind columns and jumping out giggling and then hiding again. naked. It was the most precious thing I've ever seen.
He constantly snuck into the area where we were staying. He would crack the door and creep in. He thought we had some good food in there, but in reality, there wasn't much to be had. But honestly, I don't think he was all that interested in the food. He was more interested in the fun. : ) No matter what I was in the middle of, or what I was trying to get done, it was always, ALWAYS a joy to see his little eyes peeking around the door.
We had a special bond. I have never really thought I was that good at dealing with children, I've worked with children in a ton of ways, but I can't say I always felt CONNECTED to them. This time was something rare. We were in love. I found the greatest pleasures in the simplest things. He was sick for a few days, and his nose ran constantly. It was chapping his entire nose and mouth area, because he had no tissue to wipe it. I picked him up and brought him to the bathroom, and wiped his nose. He just stared into my eyes as if he was eternally greatful for my kindness. He was the most beautiful child. He was most definitely one of my soul mates in this life. And will forever be. No matter what becomes of either of us it is the truth that we are connected. His lips had chapped to the point that they were bleeding, and I put some lip balm on them with my fingers, and he curled up in my lap and fell asleep smiling. It was quite wonderful to say the least. I never wanted to be parted from him.
This child was so much fun, and so resilient. He and his buddy Nsom, liked to crawl under the dining room tables and giggle hysterically when I walked past, and wait for me to pull them out by their ankles. They would squeal and giggle so loudly, and I felt that their giggles and games could cure me from any issues I ever struggled with. They would bang their legs, hands, heads, and knees on the table legs and on the concrete when trying to scurry away from me, and they never stopped smiling in the process. Bruises were irrelevant to them, they just wanted good old fashioned love and fun. I gotta be more like that.
Every night the children would have devotionals in a common area. We would sit on the concrete ground and my little minions would come sit with me and on my lap. It was precious time to me because I would pray over them, hold their hands, and cherish every moment. Animbom loved to crawl into my lap after a long tiring day of school, mischief, heartbreak and laughter and just.... drift to sleep. His little body was so warm, and he was just go totally relaxed. He would almost always pass gas on me and sometimes it was audible during prayer. Nobody minded. I could have cared less. These warm little angel of joy was sleeping happily and I just held his hands and prayed over him. Sometimes after devotionals I would carry him or his friends to bed. They barely ever even woke up during the process. These kids played hard. But being able to physically put these children to bed was such a blessing, they didn't ever receive this treatment. They were almost treated as adults, and didn't receive very much one on one attention from the staff, as there were over 60 children and the staff were always working so hard to provide for them.
I noticed how much we had in common sometimes when he would get upset or frustrated. Once he wanted my sunglasses, and I knew if I let him have them, the other children would all want them too, and I didn't want to be the one responsible for starting that battle. So I told him no but he grabbed them anyway, I had to physically grab them out of his hands. He was furious that I chose to do that. He started swinging at me and crying. I let him cry it out on the ground for a while, he refused to be consoled by anyone. A little while later I saw his watery eyes peeping through the door crack. I told him I knew he was sorry and that I wasn't upset. I picked him up and carried him outside where we sat silently for a while. He eventually tried to start a game where he was hitting me. It was quite painful to have him kicking and punching me in the chest so I had to hold his arms down. This loss of control was too much for him, and he started his fit allover again. I told him I was sorry and I eventually had to get back to work. I left him there crying, feeling terribly. and it may sound pretty bad, but the whole situation and his behavior reminded me of myself in my relationship with my soul mate. Later when devotionals started I felt sad because I didn't see him anywhere. He eventually shuffled in, and looked scared to come near me, unaware of where our love stood. I reached out my hands and smiled big. Deep down, I too am just a child, and I just want to play and be loved and understood.
I have much more to say about this angel.... This is to be continued!!!!!!!!!
I am headed to Uganda, Rwanda, and Tanzania in 3 weeks! Help me to better the lives of more beautiful souls such as this one on my next journey!!!
http://www.gofundme.com/3qntrk
